Move to the First Side
by sinemoras09
Summary: AU. "In the dim half-light, Iruka could just barely make out the silhouette of the child crying softly in the dark." What if Iruka found Gaara as a child? Gen. Angst. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

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The wind stirred, and in the dim half-light, Iruka could just barely make out the tender silhouette of a child crying softly in the dark.

Umino Iruka hated to see children cry. His female friends joked that he was more of a woman than they were, but he couldn't help it. Something about it pulled at his heartstrings. Tonight was no exception. "Hey," Iruka said, softly. He moved from his perch on the rooftop, where he was spying on the Kazekage's men, and carefully approached. The child's head snapped up. His eyes were frightened and rimmed with dark circles; the child pulled back, slightly.

"It's late out," Iruka said. "Where are your parents?"

The child clutched a bag in his lap. As Iruka approached, he saw that the paper bag was filled with medicinal creams. "Did you hurt yourself?" Iruka asked. The child shook his head. His eyes were wide and pale, almost glasslike; they were full of hurt._ Children shouldn't hurt like this_, Iruka thought, and he sat down beside him.

He didn't know anyone was watching. It wasn't until the kunai exploded behind him that Iruka knew.

He shoved the child out of the way, just in time, scrambling for his knife. The child shrieked; in front of him, a masked shinobi jumped out of the shadows.

"Hey!" Iruka said. He chased after him. The shinobi whirled around, a knife in his hand. Iruka blocked it effortlessly.

"Why," the child said. He squatted on the ground, clutching his head. "Why, why, why...?"

Iruka fought, metal slamming against metal, hurling and slamming into the other ninja until his kunai buried itself in the ninja's side. The child screamed again, and the shinobi fell to the ground.

Iruka breathed hard, then knelt beside him. "Who are you?" Iruka said. He grabbed the shinobi by the vest and yanked him forward. "Who do you work for?"

The mask fell away. The child's eyes widened.

The sand protected them both when the explosion fell.

xXx  
.

The child sobbed as Iruka held him to his shirt vest, leaping across building to building until he was able to rendezvous with the rest of his team. _A child_, Iruka thought. _Who the hell would want to kill a child?_

Kurenai and Asuma ran toward him. "We heard you were attacked!" Kurenai said. "Was it one of Orochimaru's men?"

Iruka shook his head. "They were after this child," Iruka said. The child clung to his shirt vest. Asuma stared.

"A child?" Asuma said.

"I found him crying on the rooftop of the Kazekage's compound," Iruka said. "I don't know why anyone would want to target him. But if I hadn't gotten there first..."

Iruka shuddered. Kurenai took the child from his arms.

"Honey, what's your name?" Kurenai asked. The child shrunk back, clinging to Iruka's leg.

"He doesn't talk much," Iruka said. "No doubt he's been traumatized enough."

Asuma flicked his cigarette. "What are we supposed to do?" Asuma asked. "The mission was to track Orochimaru; we can't have a child tagging along."

"Someone tried to _kill_ him, we can't just leave him here," Iruka said. Kurenai stood.

"I have to agree," Kurenai said. "It isn't our place to meddle in foreign affairs, but this...we were witness to an attempted murder. Surely the Hokage would understand."

Iruka glanced behind him and saw Shikaku emerging from the shadows. "Shikaku-sama. What do you think? Should we take him back to Konoha?"

Shikaku looked at him evenly. "The child isn't our concern," Shikaku said. "Iruka. The worst thing you would want is to be accused of kidnapping a Suna villager; that's the last thing Konoha would need." Shikaku paused, thoughtfully. "We need to find the child's parents," Shikaku said. Iruka's grip on the child tightened.

"Iruka-kun?" Kurenai said. "What is it?"

Iruka spoke, softly. "His uncle was the one who tried to kill him," Iruka said. He looked up at the rest of the team with darkened eyes. "The child was distraught, and his uncle said he hated him. Apparently his whole family hates him...."

The child buried himself against Iruka's chest. Iruka placed his palm firmly on the child's head. "I don't know what this is all about - maybe some inter-tribal conflict - but we can't just leave him here," Iruka said.

Shikaku made a long exhaling sound, deep in thought. "If he's already been marked by his clan, they might already think he's dead," Shikaku said. "Konoha does not abandon its children; even in war, we've taken the enemy's orphans as our own. I don't see that this is any different."

"But we're not at war with the Suna," Asuma said. "If they find out we took one of their own--"

"We are taking one who was already abandoned by his family," Shikaku said. He glanced at the child, who was clinging to Iruka, tight. "If what Iruka says is true, that the child was marked for assassination, then we have no other choice. We cannot abandon him."

Shikaku closed his eyes. "These Suna and their backwards customs," Shikaku said. "It sickens me." Kurenai and Asuma nodded, gravely.

Iruka stood. "Come, little one," Iruka said. "Let me help you with that gourd."

xXx

.

They made a campfire at the edge of the forest, right at the border between Fire Country and the Wind.

Everyone fell asleep except Iruka, who stayed awake to scan the periphery. He sat with a kunai in his hand, leaning against a tree and watching, silently. The child was still awake. Iruka glanced behind him, then knelt beside the child.

"Are you okay?" Iruka asked. The child hugged his knees and nodded. Away from his family, surrounded by strangers, and recently attacked, he couldn't blame the child for not sleeping.

"I don't like to sleep," the child said. Iruka turned quietly. The child stared at the campfire. "When I sleep, _he_ comes."

"Who?" Iruka said. The child shook.

"A monster," the child said.

Thoughts of pederasts and evil old men came to mind, and Iruka clenched his hands. _These people...what the hell did they do?_

Kurenai stirred. She sat up blinking and rubbing her eyes. "Iruka-kun. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Iruka said. He ruffled the child's hair. "The little one couldn't sleep. I was keeping him company." Kurenai nodded.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Kurenai asked. The child shook his head, shyly. Kurenai smiled. "Would you like to sleep next to me?" Kurenai asked.

The child glanced up at Iruka, as if to ask for permission. Iruka nodded. "Go ahead," Iruka said. The child stood up, uncertainly.

Kurenai smiled, then wrapped the child up in her arms. "Shh, little one," Kurenai murmured. She let him bury his face against her chest, pressing her cheek against his hair. She looked up at Iruka sadly.

Iruka smiled. "He's been through a lot," Iruka said. Slowly the child's breathing deepened; he fell asleep in Kurenai's arms.

Kurenai stroked the boy's hair and gazed into the fire.

xXx  
.

The child woke up screaming.

Asuma and Shikaku jumped up, but the child wrenched himself free. His eyes opened, and it was as if he were transformed. Kurenai and Iruka tried to hold him down but he was too strong, the sand slamming against them ruthlessly. It wasn't until Shikaku's shadow snaked around the child and yanked him down by the ankles that the child woke: his eyes snapped back open. Slowly his features changed back, and the child was whimpering, softly. "I'm sorry," the child said. He started to cry. "I'm sorry, please, I didn't mean to..."

Shikaku roughly grabbed the child by the arm. Iruka stood. "Shikaku-sama! What--"

Shikaku lifted the child's shirt to see the black seal spiraling out of his skin. Slowly it faded until there was nothing but firelight on his side.

"A jinchuuriki," Shikaku said. "And the seal is incomplete." The child whimpered. He curled up against himself, rocking by the fire.

Asuma knitted his brow. "I don't understand," Asuma said.

"In order for a seal to be complete, there needs to be a sacrifice," Shikaku said. "The Fourth died to seal the Kyuubi, but here...no one did."

The child cried, softly. Asuma and Shikaku stood, staring down at him. "That's probably why they wanted to kill him," Shikaku said. "His bijou wasn't contained. He was probably a threat to the city." For an awful moment, no one moved. Finally Kurenai pushed past them and pulled the child into her arms.

The child sobbed. Kurenai stroked his hair. "Shh," Kurenai said. "It's not your fault. None of this is your fault."

Asuma's jaw tightened. "We have to take him back," Asuma said.

"You can't be serious!" Iruka said.

"He's dangerous, he nearly killed you two!" Asuma said. The child sobbed harder. Kurenai hugged him tight. "Kurenai, you almost got killed! If Shikaku hadn't been here--"

"We would have handled it!" Kurenai said.

"Enough," Shikaku said.

The three of them turned. The child sniffed, softly. "Nothing changes," Shikaku says. "He may be a jinchuuriki, but he's still a child. We cannot in good conscience return him to a place where we know he would be killed."

"Madness," Asuma said.

"And what would your father say?" Shikaku said. Asuma stared at him, darkly. "We take him back to Konoha," Shikaku said. "We've already gone too far to take him back, now."

xXx  
.

They walked slowly, trudging in a jagged line through the forest. The child was frightened. He clung to Kurenai and Iruka, staring distrustfully at the other adults at the front.

They sat down to rest, Iruka setting down the child's gourd while Kurenai let the child lean against her lap. The child's eyes closed, but his breathing was shallow, erratic. "He's resting," Kurenai said. She stroked the child's hair. "You're still awake, aren't you?"

The child slowly opened his eyes and nodded, before closing them again.

Iruka sat heavily next to Kurenai, who was smiling, softly. "Such beautiful red hair," Kurenai said. "I've always envied the Suna their coloring. They say the sun beats harder there and makes their hair red like the sunset. But I've never seen eyes like these before," Kurenai mused. "They almost look like the Hyuuga's."

"Tch. Leave it to a woman," Asuma said. He flicked a cigarette into the grass. "Just wait until he falls asleep, you won't think he looks so cute when he tries to rip your throat out."

"Asuma." Shikaku looked at him, sharply. "Enough."

Asuma glared, then slunk back at the corner.

It was Kurenai's turn to guard the perimeter, so the child stayed with Iruka while the other men slept. Iruka tossed branches into the fire and watched the flames lick; the child watched too, glancing occasionally at Iruka's face. Neither one spoke. Iruka stirred the ashes once more, then leaned back and closed his eyes.

There was a sound, a whisper of a current in his ear, and Iruka slowly opened his eyes and saw the child sitting across from him, his gourd of sand strapped to his back. The child opened and closed his palm, and Iruka's eyes widened: a little eddy of sand swirled up into the air and into the child's palm. The child seemed content with it, watching silently as the miniature sand storm played at his feet.

_Earth element and wind element._ Iruka stared. Iruka was just a chuunin, he barely mastered one element, let alone two. _Who was this child...?_

The sand swirled, gently, and the corner of the child's mouth tugged. The rims of his eyes darkened, and Iruka saw the child begin to cry.

Iruka was awake, now. Wordlessly, he moved and sat next to the child, putting an arm around the child's shoulders. "Shh," Iruka said, and the child buried himself into Iruka's vest.

Iruka understood. He was lonely and confused, and he was probably thinking about home. "Yashamaru," the child said. He cried, softly. "Why...why?"

"It's okay," Iruka said. He had never felt so helpless. "You're with us now. It's going to be all right."

Kurenai stepped up beside him. Iruka looked up. "Everything okay?" Iruka asked. Kurenai nodded.

"The perimeter's secure. We should be fine, for now," Kurenai said. She knelt down beside the child.

"Hey, little one," Kurenai said. "Iruka-san has to patrol the perimeter, but I'm here, now." Kurenai looked at the child with dark eyes. Wordlessly she took the child in her arms and nodded toward Iruka. "Good luck," she said.

Iruka nodded. "I'll be back in a couple hours," he said, and he disappeared into the dark.

xXx

.

Kurenai had an idea. _If I wake the child before the transformation takes place, it'll keep the bijou from coming out._ She glanced behind her, as Shikaku and Asuma slept, and let the child snuggle against the crook of her neck. The poor child was so love-starved, it made her heart ache. She swore silently that when they returned to Konoha, she would let him stay with her, at least until the Third figured something out.

The child's breathing deepened; his eyelids fluttered. Gently Kurenai kissed him on the forehead and pressed her hand against his back, waiting. It wasn't long before the child gasped, his limbs jerking, violently. Kurenai shook him awake.

"Hey, hey, wake up." The child stiffened; his eyes opened slowly.

Kurenai's heart wrenched. It just seemed cruel that with a life of torment and abuse, he couldn't even let himself sleep. She hoped the Third could find a way to fix the seal or whatever it was wrong with him permanently.

Kurenai wondered who would do such a thing to him. The first night Iruka had found him, the child refused to tell either of them his name; doubtless he was too scared to speak. As time wore on, the rest of the team was content to refer to him as the jinchuuriki, speaking about him as if he were an animal and not a child. Kurenai didn't like that, though. "Sweetpea, what's your name?" she asked, not expecting an answer. "Just who are you?"

The child exhaled, softly. "Gaara."

Kurenai looked down. The child had his eyes closed again; his face was buried against her shirt. "Gaara?" Kurenai asked. The child opened his eyes solemnly and nodded. "Gaara of the Sand?"

The child didn't answer. Kurenai frowned, and stroked the child's hair.

And then...

"Do you like me?"

It was barely a whisper. Kurenai looked down and saw the child looking up at her, frightened. Kurenai smiled, gently. "Of course I like you," Kurenai said. Tears filled the child's eyes. He buried his face against Kurenai's chest.

"Shh, little one," Kurenai said, softly. "What's wrong?" The child cried softly, hugging her tight.

"No one's ever liked me before," the child said. "Not even..."

More tears. "He told me I was his precious person," the child sobbed. "He told me my mother loved me and that the sand was full of her love. But it was a lie." The child sobbed harder. "It was a lie and nobody loves me."

"Shh, don't cry." Kurenai held him tighter. "When we get back to my village, you'll stay with me and nobody will hurt you, I promise." Kurenai kissed him on the forehead and hugged him again. "I promise, okay? Don't cry."

Kurenai hated it. He was just a child. No one should have to hurt a child.

Iruka came back from his patrol and found the child watching Kurenai sleep. He glanced up at Asuma, who was frowning. Wordlessly Asuma stood up and took over the patrol.

* * *

**A/N: Not sure exactly where I'm going with this. I mostly had the idea of, "what if Iruka found Gaara before he killed Yashamaru?" and this is the result. Even though Iraku is just an instructor and Asuma, Shikaku, and Kurenai were never really on a team in canon, I thought, what the hell, and threw them all together - Iruka because he's Iruka, Kurenai because she has those crazy genjutsu skillz (which may or may not come into play later). Also, I figured Asuma might be jealous of chibi!Gaara snuggling up to Kurenai and whatnot, so...yeah. lol. Plus chibi!Gaara needed some snuggles, so there you go. XD  
**


	2. Chapter 2

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_The cloth fell away from the assassin's face; Iruka stepped back and the child screamed._

_"Yashamaru!" The child rushed forward. "Yashamaru, no!"_

_Iruka grabbed him by the arm. "Stay back!" Iruka said, but something in the child changed. His eyes narrowed. "Yashamaru," the child said, and his voice sent a chill up Iruka's spine._

_Sand slammed into Iruka's back, throwing him against the side of the wall. Iruka fell to the ground with a thud, his shoulder whacking against the ground. Iruka groaned, and staggered, trying to get up. Iruka tried to stand but sand slammed into him again, throwing him against the ground._

_The child heaved. "Why?" the child said. The sand squeezed Iruka tight, making it hard for him to breath. "Why?!"_

_"Please." Iruka wheezed. "Please, don't..."_

_The sand tightened. "_Sabaku..._"_

_Iruka struggled. "No!"_

_And someone began to laugh._

_It was low and mirthless, rumbling deep from the assassin's throat. The sand loosened just enough for Iruka to crane his head; he could see blood curdling from the side of the assassin's mouth. "Yes, Gaara-sama," the assassin said. "Do it. Show him the kind of monster you are."_

_The child's eyes widened in shock. The sand fell; Iruka pitched forward, coughing._

_"Monster?" The child stared. "No. You can't mean that..."_

_Iruka wheezed; his arm was injured. Just barely, he reached out for his kunai._

_"Yashamaru," the child knelt beside him. "You were protecting father....you saw him spying, didn't you?" The assassin turned his head._

_"I was not...protecting your father." The assassin breathed hard. "I...was sent...to kill you."_

_Iruka's eyes widened. Around them, the wind stirred, sand blowing across Iruka's face. The child sank on his knees and sobbed, clutching the assassin's hand. "Yashamaru," he sobbed. He clutched his head to his knees. "Yashamaru!"_

_ Iruka threw himself over the child just as the explosion fell._

xXx  
.

Asuma lit a cigarette, watching darkly as the jinchuuriki buried itself against Iruka's side. He exhaled slowly, the plume of smoke curling around his face. Beside him, Shikaku was scraping a piece of wood with a knife. "He's about Shikamaru's age, you know," Shikaku said. Asuma turned.

"Who?" Asuma asked.

"The jinchuuriki," Shikaku said. Asuma stepped closer and saw that Shikaku was meticulously carving a little wooden owl. His eyes were focused on the carving. "I couldn't help but think, what if it were Shikamaru?" His eyes flicked upwards, meeting Asuma's. "It's why I couldn't leave him."

Asuma frowned, then threw the cigarette on the ground. "So you would endanger the rest of the team because you're feeling sentimental?" Asuma asked. Shikaku's mouth quirked into a smile.

"Kurenai seems to have him under control," Shikaku said. "Her _genjutsu_ is so powerful, she can infiltrate the enemy's subconscious. Doubtless she's doing the same, here."

Asuma made a sound, something between frustration and helplessness, and moved into the clearing. "Iruka must have known," Asuma said. "He didn't seem surprised at all when the kid attacked. In fact I think he was expecting it." Shikaku shrugged, elegantly.

"Iruka has always been protective of the children," Shikaku said. "Even if they've done wrong, he always stands up for them. Look at how he treats Naruto. Everyone knows the Kyuubi killed his parents; as far as everyone else is concerned, Naruto might as well have killed them in its stead."

They glanced at Iruka, who was squatting in the dirt and watching the child manipulate the sand. "Wow, that's very impressive!" Iruka said. Asuma's jaw tightened.

"Naruto is just a boy," Asuma said. "That...that _thing_ attacked Kurenai in his sleep. All Naruto has done is graffiti the Kage. They're two different things if you ask me."

"They're both children," Shikaku said. "Regardless of what's inside them, they need to be protected." Shikaku glanced darkly at Iruka and the child, who was smiling, shyly. "A child as powerful as that...it is easy for that kind of power to be perverted, to be mislead. We should thank the gods Iruka-san has taken an interest in him. Or else..."

They glanced back at Iruka again, who was making a funny face. The child ducked and giggled.

"...or else who knows what he may become," Shikaku said.

xXx  
.

They sprang off the branches of the trees, leaping fast and forward.

"What do you plan to do with him?" Asuma asked. It was difficult for him to talk; the wind was blowing hard and the cigarette was dangerously close to flying out of his mouth. "Where is he going to stay?"

Iruka glanced behind him; Kurenai and the child were bringing up the rear."I was thinking he'd stay with me," Iruka said.

"Iruka, don't be stupid, that jutsu of yours isn't enough to calm him, what if he were to transform and you're all alone?" Asuma said.

Another leap; they spring-boarded forward, leap-frogging past the other trees.

"Asuma has a point," Shikaku said. "We may have to get Tenzo involved, or else risk endangering the rest of the village."

"Damn straight," Asuma said. He glanced back behind him to make sure Kurenai and the jinchuuriki didn't overhear. Iruka glared. _They didn't see what I saw. They don't know what I know._

Iruka's foot slammed into the bark of the tree, and he shot forward, the bark cracking under his weight. _"I despise you," Yashamaru said._

The bark exploded from the force, and Iruka pitched forward. "Hey, hey, easy," Shikaku said.

"Iruka, you're going too fast! Kurenai and the jinchuuriki won't be able to keep up!" Asuma said.

Iruka's hand tightened into a fist. _The jinchuuriki._ His knuckles whitened. Like he was some sort of animal.

"Iruka-kun!" Kurenai was moving faster now, the child clinging to her back. Iruka slowed his pace; gradually Kurenai caught up. "Here," Kurenai said. "Take him." Asuma made a sound, something between frustration and annoyance, but Iruka ignored him. He hefted the child over his shoulder and nodded.

"Thank you, Kurenai," Iruka said. The child clung to Iruka's arm.

xXx

.

Night fell, and the group set up camp. The fire crackled softly, wisps of smoke and red embers kissing the air.

The child was playing with the little wooden owl Shikaku carved, squatting on his haunches and turning it over in his hands. Beside him, Iruka smiled and put an affectionate hand on the child's head. But something tugged at the back of his mind. He remembered the night he first saw him, after his uncle had blown himself up and pieces of concrete scattered in the wind. Iruka must have been deep in thought, because when he looked up again he saw the child staring at his arm.

"Gaara-kun. What's wrong?" Iruka asked. Wordlessly Gaara pointed to the bandage around Iruka's wrist; he had gotten injured when he was trapped by Gaara's sand.

"Oh, it's nothing," Iruka said. "It's just a scratch." But something in Iruka's voice must have triggered a memory that was hurtful to him; slowly, Iruka could see the child struggling not to cry. "Gaara-kun, what is it?" Iruka asked.

The boy looked up at him with innocent eyes, then reached for his paper sack. Wordlessly, the child pulled out the ointments and medicinal creams and held it out to him. Iruka smiled, kindly.

"That's very thoughtful of you, Gaara-kun," Iruka said, and he unbandaged his arm.

After a while, the child curled up beside the fire and rested his eyes. Iruka smiled then stood. He squinted his eyes, looking for the rest of his teammates. He moved past the clearing to where Asuma and Shikaku were stationed. He could just barely hear them speaking.

"We'll have to tell the Hokage first thing tomorrow," Shikaku said. "Asuma, we'll need you to find out as much as you can about the Suna, what they've been experimenting with, what they've been trying. It's possible they may have been trying to weaponize the boy."

"What about damage control?" Asuma asked. "If they find out the jinchuuriki survived, do we hide the fact that we took him into the city?"

"That's for the Hokage to decide," Shikaku said. "The last thing we need is for the Suna to think we're stealing their weapon. But if they were actively trying to eliminate him..."

"...then there's hope they might overlook the fact that he's missing," Asuma said.

"Right," Shikaku said.

Iruka frowned, then turned around. He saw Kurenai leaning against a tree. "Iruka-kun," she said. She didn't even turn. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Iruka said. He squatted heavily beside her, tossing a branch into the fire. "I just overheard Shikaku and Asuma talking. They were talking about Gaara."

Absently, Iruka touched the wound where the child had rubbed the medicinal cream earlier. The ointment hadn't done much to help him, really, but the child tried, and it was a sweet gesture. "Gaara gave that to you?" Kurenai asked, curiously. Iruka nodded.

"It's some sort of Suna ointment," Iruka said. He showed Kurenai the salve. "He's a sweet kid; he's just had some really bad upbringing. Maybe when we get back to Konoha I'll introduce him to Naruto. Lord knows Naruto could use a little friend."

He tossed another branch into the fire. The fire crackled softly, casting a soft orange glow in the dark. "Shikaku thinks the Suna tried to use the boy as a weapon," Iruka said. "It's probably why they tried to kill him." Kurenai exhaled, slowly.

"Try not to think about it," Kurenai said. Iruka looked up at her, sadly.

"I wish I could," Iruka said.

xXx  
.

It was Asuma's turn to guard the perimeter. They were less than a day's journey from Konoha, and Asuma was beginning to feel restless. He kicked a stone with his foot and exhaled sharply. It wasn't that Asuma wasn't kind, or that he was distrustful - in fact, Asuma was one of the most trusting, most laid back shinobi in the village - but the mission was to track down Orochimaru. The mission _wasn't_ to kidnap a potentially dangerous jinchuuriki at the risk of further alienating the Suna from the Leaf. He had seen first-hand how dangerous the jinchuuriki could be, saw how Kurenai and Iruka had been thrown like a couple of ragdolls to the side; there was power in that jinchuuriki, and it was a power that was barely controlled. That the boy's grip on his sanity was tenuous at best was also worrisome.

Asuma grunted, then dug in his pocket for his pack of cigarettes.

And he realized he was being _watched_.

Without turning, Asuma knew it was the boy standing behind him, staring at him with narrowed eyes. The hairs on the back of Asuma's neck prickled. Slowly he turned. "What?" Asuma said.

The boy stared. He was a creepy little kid, pale translucent skin and dead gray eyes. "You're fucking kidding me," Asuma muttered, and lit his cigarette.

The sand knocked the cigarette from his mouth. Asuma whirled around. "What the--"

The kid's eyes narrowed. "Why," the kid said. Asuma stared.

The kid's temple throbbed. "Why," he repeated. Asuma backed up and slowly reached for his chakra blades.

The sand was quick, knocking both blades and Asuma into the dirt. Asuma looked up, his heart drumming in his chest. "Why?" the kid said. He stepped forward, a wave of sand undulating behind him. "Why? _Why_? WHY?"

Asuma threw his hand up as the sand came crashing down.

xXx

.

Asuma, miraculously, was not dead.

He was splayed on the ground, his chakra blades flung across from him, staring at a wall of sand just inches away from his head.

The child breathed; his eyes widened. His face changed into something like shock. "Ano...I...I'm sorry." And before Asuma could say anything, the child broke away.

Asuma groaned, and started to push himself upright. It was then that his foot knocked into the little rock he had kicked earlier...

The little owl carving. Asuma stooped down and picked it up, turning it over in his hands. _"Why?" the child asked. "Why? Why?!"_

The little owl was splintered, the wood chipped from the weight of Asuma's boot. Asuma's eyes narrowed. _So this is why he attacked._ Asuma bounced the little owl in his palm, then slipped it into his pocket.

The jinchuuriki was unstable.

* * *

**A/N: Still not sure where I'm going with this. I know Kurenai's genjutsu doesn't exactly work this way in canon, but in here I like to think she could use it to help Gaara calm down, which may or may not come into play later :) Also I really hope I'm not painting Asuma to be a jackass, he's just worried about the village. So yeah. Woo.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

_.  
_

.

This is what should have happened:

Gaara would be taken into the Leaf; he would be sheltered by Kurenai and Iruka; he would give Tenzo (Yamato) a heart attack.

He would have been friendless except for the other jinchuuriki, Naruto; they would hide by the swings on the playground, Naruto grandstanding and pumping his hands while Gaara made little eddies of sand swirl at their feet.

In his mind, Iruka can imagine how the scene would play out: _"Gaara-kun! Hand me the spray paint!" Naruto would say. And Gaara would stare at him blankly. _

_"Why?"_

_"Because we have to spray the Kages!" Naruto would say. "I can't reach so you have to use your sand to pull the paint up. That way everyone will recognize us!"_

_"That sounds stupid," Gaara would say, and Iruka would silently agree. _

_The villagers would fear them, giving them nasty looks as Iruka would usher them down the street. "Hey hey, don't look so down, I'm treating you two to ramen, remember?"_

_And Naruto would pump his fist and Gaara would lift his eyes. "Yatta!" Naruto would say._

_And Gaara would start to smile._

It didn't happen this way, though. And as Iruka rushed through the woods, he felt nothing but regret.

xXx

.

"Have you found him yet?" Shikaku said. Iruka shook his head.

"We searched everywhere; I have no idea where he could have gone," Kurenai said. Iruka buried his head in his hands.

The woods were dark at night, large shadows looming through the trees. To a child that darkness would be frightening. "I can't believe he's all alone," Iruka said.

Asuma flicked his cigarette. "It's my fault," Asuma said. The rest of the group turned. "I should have restrained him better. I should have done _something_. And now...."

"It isn't your fault," Shikaku said. "The jinchuuriki attacked. There was no way you could have known."

"Tch." Asuma crushed the cigarette under his boot. "I don't care about the jinchuuriki. What I care about is that Konoha might be next."

"Asuma!" Shikaku said.

"We never should have brought him," Asuma said. "We should have left him to--"

Iruka lunged forward. "Iruka!" Kurenai said. Shikaku grabbed him by the arm, wrestling him down.

"Calm yourself!" Shikaku said. "Fighting amongst ourselves won't solve anything. We have a child on the loose. A child who is unstable and potentially dangerous."

"How can you say that?" Iruka said. He stood up, his hands clenching into fists. "That child has no family, he was kicked out of his home! You can't possibly sit there and treat him like he's some sort of monster!"

"Iruka, please," Kurenai said. She touched him on the shoulder. "We'll find him," Kurenai said. "We'll make sure he's safe."

Shikaku nodded. "Let's go."

xXx

.

Asuma stalked through the woods, cutting through the thick branches with his kunai. There was a reason why Iruka was stuck babysitting at the academy: he didn't have the heart of a shinobi, he was unable to separate his heart from his head. Asuma slashed the branches, grunting. Damn Iruka. If Kakashi weren't injured, Iruka would be where he belonged: teaching grade-schoolers how to punch.

Another slash. Kakashi was supposed to be part of their team; Orochimaru was a missing-nin and only jonin-level ninja were equipped to follow him. But Kakashi got hurt, and the other jonin were away; Iruka, being an instructor, was the only chuunin available for the team. "Lunacy," Asuma muttered. He cut through the leaves with another powerful stroke.

The other thing that irritated him, which probably Shikaku had himself figured out but Asuma didn't even want to admit, was that Kurenai and Iruka seemed to be _bonding._ Bonding over the jinchuuriki, of all things. It was no secret that Asuma harbored feelings for the kunoichi, and seeing her smiling at that idiot Iruka made his blood boil.

"Anything?" Kurenai asked. Asuma turned his head.

"Nothing; I don't think he's here," Asuma said. Kurenai frowned, then nodded.

"Hopefully Iruka and Shikaku-sama have better luck," Kurenai said.

_Hopefully not_, Asuma thought, as he secretly hoped the kid fell into a hole and got himself buried alive. "Since when did you get so maternal all of a sudden?" Asuma asked. "Iruka I could understand, he's used to babysitting. But you....I honestly don't understand what's going on."

"There's nothing to understand," Kurenai said. She spoke slowly, as if measuring her words. "He's a child, Asuma. A lonely, misunderstood child. And to think the entire village turned on him like that...it just breaks my heart."

Asuma frowned. "I never pegged you as the type," Asuma said.

"As what type?" Kurenai said.

"The mothering type," Asuma said. Kurenai rolled her eyes.

"Just keep looking." Kurenai's face was a mask. "Just because I'm _nin_ doesn't mean I can't think like a mother. Maybe you ought to try it, sometime."

"Think like a mother? I think Iruka's got that covered," Asuma said.

"Baka," Kurenai said. But Asuma could see her lips quirk into a half smile.

xXx

.

Iruka slashed through the trees, striking with his kunai. "Gaara-kun!" Iruka said.

Another slash. "Gaara-kun, are you there?"

It was getting darker now; the forest deepened. Iruka squinted his eyes, trying to see in the dim moonlight. And then...

There it was: the slightest rustle, a whisper of a breath behind him. Iruka stopped, his feet stepping quietly on the grass. "Gaara?"

He could just barely see it, the slender figure of the boy crouching in the dark. "Gaara!"

"Stay away." The boy's voice was a hoarse whisper.

"Gaara-kun, it's me, Iruka-san. Come on out, it's dangerous out here," Iruka said. The boy's eyes narrowed.

"I said stay _away_!" Sand shot out through the trees. Iruka didn't move.

"Gaara-kun. I know what happened must have been confusing, but nobody blames you for what you did. I know you're going through a lot, but please--let us help you," Iruka said. The sand trembled. Iruka stepped forward.

"Gaara-kun," Iruka said. "Give me your hand."

"No," the child said.

"Please," Iruka said.

"I can't," the child said.

"You're not a monster," Iruka said, and the child began to cry.

xXx

.

This is what should have happened:

_The child would be taken to the Leaf, where it would have taken a while for the child to adjust; he was used to people betraying him. But the people of the Sand would probably be content to believe that the child was dead, so it would be one less problem to deal with._

_Naruto, of course, would warm up to him immediately._

_Iruka would find them sitting at the swings, just as he'd imagined. Around them, the other school children would give them wary glances and whisper furtively in each others' ears. "I heard the new kid's a monster, too..."_

_He imagined what would happen next: Gaara's eyes would nearly pop out of his skull when Naruto would reach into his gourd of sand and chuck it at the girls staring at them. Naruto would grin. "See! I can throw sand, too!"_

_And Iruka would laugh: Naruto was never really good at __ninjutsu._

xXx

.

"We can't take him back," Shikaku said. Asuma and Kurenai sat with their shoulders hunched; Iruka stared, the child clinging to his side.

"I don't understand," Iruka said.

"Three days ago, when we first found him, I dispatched a hawk to the Third telling him of our findings," Shikaku said. "I've just received word from Danzo and the elders. They don't think it's prudent he should be here. The Third disagreed, of course, but he was out-voted. We already have one jinchuuriki."

Shikaku pulled out a scroll.

"We can't take him back to Suna; if they find out we took him, we risk putting Konoha at war," Shikaku said.

"So then..." Iruka's chest tightened.

"We leave him," Shikaku said, softly. Asuma hunched over, his eyes staring at the ground. "The hawk came to me while you were searching," Shikaku said, softly. "Iruka, I'm so sorry."

Iruka shook. "What about the child?" he asked. Shikaku shook his head.

"I don't know."

xXx

.

Iruka carried him back, the child leaning against Iruka's shoulder. They were nearly a days' walk away from Konoha, so the journey back to Suna would be a long one; no one stopped him when he left. _"We can't just leave him here," _Iruka had said. _"I'll be the one to take him home."_

Iruka walked, silently terrified of what would happen in Suna. Would the child be safe? Would he be okay? Thousands of questions swirled in his mind as he trudged forward; during this whole time, the child said nothing. He was used to nobody wanting him.

It wasn't until the second day that Iruka realized he was being followed: Kurenai was behind him, just a few paces back. "You're just a chuunin," Kurenai said. "I thought you'd need a little support."

"Yes..." Iruka's eyes dimmed. Wordlessly Kurenai took the child from him, letting the child press against her side. "Do you hate me?" the child asked. Kurenai looked at Iruka with dark eyes before stroking the child's hair.

"No, sweetpea," Kurenai murmured. "No."

_

* * *

_**A/N: Poor Gaara. I think I screwed him. :x **

**I think I might have to write a crack!fic where Naruto shoves his hand into Gaara's gourd and starts chucking his sand at people. (Gaara would be all, "WTF?" and Naruto would be like "BAM! Sand in your face, _dattebayo_!" LOL. Sorry but the image made me giggle a little bit. hee XD)  
**


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's note: I wasn't really sure where to go with this, but I had somewhat of a vague idea. Hopefully this isn't too disappointing - I wanted to finish this story before my work obligations kicked in. Thank you all for your comments and your support! It really helped keep me writing :)_

_

* * *

_

.

Years passed, as they always did; weeks stretched to months and the leaves grew heavy with rain. It has been nearly a decade since Iruka had been to Suna, and as he and the other chuunin trudged through the forest, he couldn't help but think back to that night.

_They reached the gates to the city, large looming canyon rock and the narrow passage greeting them. Kurenai knelt by Gaara's side, placing her hands on his shoulder. "Listen to me, little one," Kurenai said. The child looked up at her with trusting eyes._

_Iruka didn't have to be told what Kurenai was doing. Her genjutsu was so advanced, she could manipulate memories to her will. "You're going to go to sleep now," Kurenai said. "And when you wake up, you won't remember."_

_The child's face crumbled. "Why?"_

_"Because it isn't safe for us," Kurenai said. Iruka set his jaw, avoiding the child's eyes. "Because a lot of people would get angry and more people would get hurt."_

_"But..." the child's eyes welled up. "I don't want to go."_

_"Sweetpea I know," Kurenai said. The child started to cry._

_It was too much. All too much. Iruka turned away before they could see his face. "Iruka-kun?" Kurenai was speaking. "Do you want to say goodbye?"_

_It was all the permission Iruka needed; he pulled the child tight, baby soft and sobbing in his arms. "Shh, shh," Iruka said. The child buried his head against Iruka's chest as Kurenai stood, frowning and keeping watch; the Suna guards would find them, soon._

_"Iruka," Kurenai said, and Iruka nodded, gently pushing the child away._

_Kurenai knelt beside them then, staring into the child's eyes. "Gaara-kun," Kurenai said. And they both knew he would not remember._

xXx

.

The compound of the Kazekage was not nearly as spectacular as the one housed in the Village of the Leaf. The country was much too poor for it, but more importantly there was a sort of spartan aesthetic that its shinobi fiercely guarded. "I can't believe they're holding the chuunin exams _here_," Izumo muttered. Iruka gave him a withering look. The Hokage had offered its top instructors to examine the field conditions as a matter of good faith; that Izumo and the others were already quick to criticize was not a good sign.

"It's hot," Izumo said.

"Baka, it's the desert. It's supposed to be hot," Kotetsu said. Izumo snorted.

"Ugh, there's sand _everywhere_. Even on the inside," Izumo said.

"Tch, hush," Iruka said. Really, even though they were the same age it seemed as if he were in the classroom again.

A Suna shinobi stopped in front of them and bowed. "The Kazekage extends his greetings," he said. Izumo and Kotetsu exchanged looks; Iruka kept his eyes trained forward, keeping his face a careful mask.

"Remember when he was just a genin?" Kotetsu said. His voice was hushed. "He nearly killed everyone during the exam."

"_Kotetsu_," Iruka hissed. Kotetsu shrunk back, adjusting the bandage of his nose. Iruka remembered, and the memory pained him. Seeing Gaara come to pieces, that homicidal rage. _What did they do to you?_ Iruka had been ashamed.

But that was past; he was the Kazekage now. Iruka followed the others down the corridor, wondering what kind of man he'd be. In any case, Naruto would be proud.

The two shinobi guards flanking their sides stopped. Moving in front of them, they each pushed open the heavy doors to the Kazekage's chambers. Light filled the hall then, and Iruka had to shield his eyes with his hands. Slowly, his eyes adjusted, and as the brightness faded he could see Gaara sitting at the desk, shuffling a few papers in his hand.

"Kazekage-sama," the guard said. Gaara nodded, motioning for them to come in.

The whole encounter was rather bland; Gaara politely welcomed them and explained the Suna's preparations for the exam; Kotetsu and Izumo tried manfully not to stare at Gaara's forehead, which by now bore a large kanji-shaped scar. Rumors had swirled around what had happened the night Gaara was attacked, and Iruka was pained by the memory; it had happened as soon as he and Kurenai had left.

The meeting ended, and Izumo and Kotetsu bowed politely and were dismissed. As Iruka started to leave, the Kazekage stood. "Umino Iruka," Gaara said. Iruka turned.

"Yes, Kazekage-sama?"

Gaara looked troubled. He stood a little uncertainly, before clearing his throat. "I recognize you, but I cannot remember where," Gaara said. "It has been gnawing at me the entire meeting."

Iruka smiled, blandly. "I was Naruto's teacher at the Academy," Iruka said. Gaara's eyes lit up in recognition.

"Naruto," Gaara said. "Yes. I remember. He always spoke of you fondly."

Iruka smiled, rubbing his head. "Eh. Well, you know Naruto...he likes everyone," Iruka said.

"No," Gaara said. His eyes narrowed. "Naruto has much to be grateful for. The life of a jinchuuriki is a painful one. That you showed him kindness when no one else would...."

Gaara seemed to falter a moment; Iruka watched with careful detachment as Gaara rearranged his face into a perfect mask. "Well," Gaara said. Iruka stared at his hands.

There was an awkward silence. Iruka set his jaw, careful not to betray too much emotion. Keeping his eyes cast down, he noticed something; a little carving on Gaara's desk.

"You're looking at my owl?" Gaara said.

Iruka looked up. Gaara picked up the little carving and handed it to him. "I found it in the forest when I was taking the chuunin exam," Gaara said. "Someone told me it was a Nara carving; it makes sense, since we were in that part of the forest."

"You were in Konoha?" Iruka said. Gaara nodded.

"Yes," Gaara said.

Iruka stared. The carving was expertly done, but there were splinters, a few cracks in the wood. _Could this be...?_ He glanced up at Gaara, wondering what fates had led him to find it. "I consider it good luck," Gaara said, and he took the owl from him. "I found it after I fought Naruto."

So. They always said the woods of the Nara clan had spirits, and that they would guide anyone who wandered in. If that's true, they certainly guided Gaara to this little carving.

Something inside Iruka broke, then. He thought of the child, and of Naruto and everything in-between. Gaara watched, a flicker of worry on his face, before he spoke again.

"Iruka-san," Gaara said. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Iruka said. He shook his head. "I apologize. The heat dries out my eyes."

"I see."

They stood awkwardly for a few moments before Gaara cleared his throat.

"Thank you for meeting with me," Gaara said. "I hope your time in Suna will be a pleasant one."

"I'm sure it will," Iruka said, and he bowed politely. "Kazekage-sama."

Gaara nodded; Iruka turned and left.

He would send a hawk to Kurenai later.

end.

* * *

**A/N: The owl is the same owl Shikaku carved, for those of you keeping score. Also, in the original draft, I had this really goofy flashback of Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro being cornered by Nara clan deer :) It was way out of place though and I took it out. This also took place during the timeskip, which is why Naruto doesn't know Gaara is a Kage yet.  
**

**Also: I know genjutsu doesn't technically mess with people's memories, but whatev, that's what AU is for :) I think after Gaara was mindwiped he probably went ahead and had that nervous break that happened in canon. So...yeah. Again I wrote the whole scene out but there really was no point, since we all know what happened and Kishimoto did such a good job in the manga anyway. Woo.  
**


End file.
